How the Danish sex toy industry wants to reclaim pleasure and fun

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Denmark has built a reputation for its sex-openness over the past decades. In 1964, the Danish newspaper Ekstra Bladet was the first to publish the nude “page-9-girls” among its content, causing a public uproar within and outside Danish borders. While other magazines and newspapers abroad followed their lead of printing nude images, Denmark set a trend of visible sex and sexuality. Jumping back to current times, Denmark still makes headlines for its sexuality culture. In 2020, the New York Times published an article about a Danish TV program which shows naked adult bodies to children. “Ultra Strips Down,” as the show is called, lets children ask “stripped down” adults about their genitals, pubic hair and trans and non-binary bodies. While there is much talk abroad about the sex-openness of Danish people, locals think that there still is room for improvement.

“They ended up buying a variety of items and concluded their visit with the phrase: ‘Thank you so much for the wonderful service – now we look forward to going home and having sex’.”

Cille, helping a 70-year old couple to find the right sex toys

“I don’t think Denmark, in general, is completely open and sex-positive yet,” explains Cille Stejner, the manager of the sex-toy store Peech in Aarhus, “Fortunately, it’s something we are working towards”. They note that there are significant differences in the openness of Danish society “depending on whether they live in or outside the major cities”. This difference in sex-positivity was also reflected in Cille’s personal life. “I come from a small town in North Jutland, where openly discussing sex is certainly not common. Many in my family needed some time to get used to the idea [of me working in a sex-toy store], but they fully support me, of course,” explains Cille, “My friends have been incredibly supportive and find it cool and exciting”. This is also reflected in their customers. While their Copenhagen-based store has a vast diversity of customers, the Peech store in Aarhus is mostly visited by students and people under 30.

Cille also notes on a clear difference between sex-openess and sex-positivity. While sex and sexuality have been visible in Denmark, for example, through the Ekstra Bladet’s infamous page-9-girls column, Cille perceives this kind of visibility as “very boxy and objectifying. It’s a very one-sided representation of women’s sexuality as being available and existing solely through the male gaze”. The current sex industry is on a mission to change this. Stores like Peech want “to queer it up and show that both gender and sexuality are fluid and diverse” by creating products for all genders and bodies. When entering Peech’s store in Aarhus, dildos, vibrators, kinky toys, books, comics, lubricants and more all greet you in a warm and welcoming environment – contrasting expectations of a gloomy and dark sex store.

Can you find the spot?

Click on the pink tags to explore Peech’s store in Aarhus via a 360° tour!

Working in a sex-toy store has also been a fulfilling experience for Cille, who has previously worked for a different sex-toy brand. “I love it when it’s clear that people are on a date inside the store. One of the most beautiful moments I experienced was a couple in their 70s who came into the store a few weeks ago,” they recount, “they had never used sex toys before, so they received a very basic introduction. They spoke openly with me about their sex life, and together we figured out which products they found exciting. They ended up buying a variety of items and concluded their visit with the phrase: ‘Thank you so much for the wonderful service – now we look forward to going home and having sex’.” Giving good customer service without shame is central to a comforting sex-toy shopping experience.

“I wish for more openness and the establishment of a better and broader language for sex as something enjoyable. I don’t believe that one can have good sex without also having good communication.” Talking about sex and sexuality is needed to break circles of male gaze and to open discussions about diverse forms of safe pleasure and intimacy. Cille explains that this is their shared goal as an industry. “It’s such a niche industry that everyone knows each other and there is a friendly atmosphere among colleagues. We all agree that we are working towards the same goal: promoting sexual health!”